If I go back in time it all started around 3rd grade where the need to be pretty, popular, wanted, needed and included all started for me. Can you believe it 9 years old and all I could think of was not being pretty or fit enough to fit in. Vanity and negative self talk set in. Truth is, it only got worse from there.
I’ve always struggled with weight and yo-yo dieting. Always struggled with being kind to myself, loving myself, putting myself first, being confident and being comfortable in my own skin. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of traits that I love about myself and I have a lot to offer to others. I am happier in life than I have ever been these days and supported beyond belief by the ones I love and hold closest to my heart BUT that negative ugly cloud of self doubt and judgement still looms over me from time to time.
Over the years, I was “that” person that had tried every fad diet or the next big thing to get my weight under control and that looked at every pretty, fit women and immediately started hating on her and thinking it isn’t fair. You see since I didn’t love myself and my own skin I hated on those who had what I wanted. I know what you are thinking, this must be a pity myself blog but let’s be honest, we’ve all been there and thankfully this isn’t that type of blog.
Over the course of the last 3 years I’ve still struggled with negative self talk and confidence BUT I started to enjoy working out and being active. I started surrounding myself with like minded supporting people. I’ve began to notice that every day I don’t workout I have less energy, feel down and am not as present for my family as I should be.